Changing the Narrative Around Birth & Pregnancy Through Media
Why better depictions of birth in media matter.
Long ago and far away, I wanted to become a political communications strategist. After canvasing door-to-door for environmental causes during the 2004 election cycle — my first true brush with political activism — I was hooked on the idea that narrative could change minds. It was a compelling enough goal that I switched universities for a year in pursuit of a program which offered more media analysis as part of the Political Science Department.
I took those studies into the real world as much as possible, interning and becoming a youth ambassador within organizations which brought stakeholder concerns to the United Nations and Congress. It was there that I learned that a punchy headline or making the day’s newscycle only did so much. The stories, actions, and cultural shifts came from collecting personal narratives on the ground and using those stories to shift the conversation.
A few years after college and some time in Holland with the UNPO, I had decided to jump into my career as a birthworker through first becoming a doula, then taking several years of midwifery courses. Seeing my first birth — a beautiful, wintery home birth in the Pacific Northwest — made me realize that most of the images and stories of birthing I had seen and heard from movies, TV, and books was pretty far from the reality of the process. This was true for the home births I witnessed, as well as the hospital and birth center births in the five different states, in Southeast Asia, and in nearly twenty-five various birthing settings I’ve been to in my over a decade of attending births.
Why is it that incorrect depictions of pregnancy, birthing, and parenting are still the norm?
As someone trained in media analysis, I can’t stop myself from screaming at the TV whenever a beloved main character in a sitcom goes on and on about her fat and broken body during her pregnancy character arc. Or how every movie birth still begins with the bag of waters opening like a bucket falling from the ceiling and the character screaming her way to the hospital, pulling the nearest man’s hair out and demanding the epidural she’ll be denied for no apparent reason.
Why? Has no one figured out births don’t look this way? How can a writer’s room think this is funny when it’s been done a million times before? Do we have zero interest in novelty when it comes to depicting something that happens around the world nearly 30,000 a day?
Doulas are terrible movie watching companions if there’s anyone on screen going through any sort of reproductive journey. I’ve gotten better about holding my tongue till after the show when possible, for the sake of still wanting friends and partners to watch things with me.
But doulas don’t feel the need to keep it bottled up when we watch things together, and thus this became a running feature on my podcast.
So far, with birth friends and at least on one occasion my own mother, I’ve sat down to watch and analyze: Juno, Knocked Up, What to Expect When You’re Expecting (the Movie), Look Who’s Talking, and Bones. On my new newsletter, Doula Thinking, I’ve started posting long-form movie critiques, including Pieces of a Woman and Stephanie Daley. I’m excited to add more movie reviews to the podcast in it’s upcoming season and to keep trying to enlighten Hollywood, et. al to the reality that we need a major systems upgrade when it comes to writing about birth, pregnancy, postpartum, breastfeeding, infant loss, grief, miscarriage, abortion, etc.
In that vein, hey script writers and show runners — I’M AVAILABLE! I’ve seen and heard of all sorts of funny, moving, weird, challenging, impactful, important, and real things in my many years witnessing births and hearing birth stories. Hell, when I tell people what I do, I get grandma’s (not my grandma) telling me their full birth stories from start to finish in line at the dang grocery store. There are so many compelling stories out there, why settle for fat vagina jokes, vomiting, and dad’s faiting over and over again? Can’t we leave those to the 80’s romcoms and move forward?
It’s not just about creating more interesting watching experiences, either. I can’t tell you how many of my clients expect to experience birth as it is in the movies, when I’ve seen all of two that ever looked anything like the run around screaming situation on screen. And I’ve literally never seen any man faint in the birth suite. And doulas and midwives aren’t all crystal waving ninnies — their an evidence-based component of improving our terrible maternal and infant health stats being built into Momibus MediCaid bills across the country. Babies are rarely born on the side of the road or in John Travolta’s taxi. Plus, 1 in 3 American birthing people will have a cesarean birth, but those are rarely depicted on screen in any way other than an emergency based around often made up medical circumstances.
We can do better and have more fun doing it. So, Hollywood…call me.
*This is a cross post and can also be found on my Rosewood Reproductive Health Consultation blog.